Tag Archives: goals

marvelous monday: find happiness through freewriting

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Where did the summer go?? I just can’t believe it’s already August. The fall semester starts up for me again in just two weeks. It seems like I can close my eyes and it is the beginning of summer again, when the fireflies were just starting to appear and a long path of sunny days stretched out before me. What happened?? Where did it all go?

Do you ever get those same feelings? It floors me how quickly time passes! Sometimes it feels like time is a river rushing past me so fast and I’m sitting there in a little boat, struggling to get a grip on the oars, not even enjoying the beautiful scenery flowing past. It makes me feel overwhelmed and frustrated, like I’m wasting or not appreciating enough the most precious commodity we all are gifted with: time.

I am also guilty of something I’ve come to think of in myself as productivititus: trying to fit waaaaaay to much into my daily to-do list, and then feeling like a failure when I don’t accomplish everything I’ve set out to do. This is not a good habit because I don’t want my summer, or my life, to be nothing but a giant to-do list of tasks I’m checking off. As my idol John Wooden often said, the most important words in the English language are love and balance. Work is important, but so is time for play! Balance, balance, balance is so crucial.

Something that is helpful to me when I am feeling off-balance, especially by the incredibly fast-flowing river of time, is to go to a  quiet corner of the room and spend a few minutes freewriting.

I always use freewriting in the creative writing courses I teach to help students break through writer’s block. However, I think freewriting is something that can benefit everyone! It is such a great tool for not just writing, but also your mental health, sense of empowerment, and overall happiness.

Here’s how freewriting works: set a timer for a certain amount of time — I’ve found 8 minutes works well because it’s not too long or too short — and start writing. The only rule is that you cannot stop until the timer dings! It is a tool to keep you from self-editing or second-guessing or worrying that what you are writing is not “good” enough. Instead, just let the writing pour out of you. You will find yourself tapping into your subconscious, which can help you unlock all sorts of dreams and ideas and even solve problems that are nagging you. For me, freewriting is a way to re-find my center of balance. It unclutters my mind and makes me feel at peace.

You don’t need a fancy journal or expensive pen to freewrite. All you need is a blank piece of paper — even scrap paper works! Some people like to freewrite on the computer, which is certainly all right. I personally enjoy using a pen and paper because it makes the writing feel more open and less intimidating somehow — more unharnessed. Something that is just for me.

Here are some freewriting topics I’ve been using lately as jumping-off points:

– My favorite memory I made this summer was …
– Three things I am grateful for in this moment are …
– I will wring out every last drop of fun from my last couple weeks of summer by …

I’ll be sharing more freewriting topics as the year goes on … I’ve even created a new “freewriting” category that you can see in the list of categories to the right.

What are your plans for these final weeks of summer? Does anyone else use freewriting as a way to alleviate stress and find balance? Any other tips or suggestions for slowing down the pace of life and savoring the time we are blessed with?

Best wishes for a marvelous week!
-Dallas

marvelous monday: making time for what you love

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Happy Monday, everyone! Welcome to all the new followers/subscribers!

When I was thinking about what to write for today, I must admit I was feeling a little down about the weekend being over. It was one of those weekends that really flew by. I mentally scrolled back through the days, wondering where the time had gone. What had I done with my days off? {Not that I don’t love teaching, but still — it’s always nice to get a little break!}

Do you ever have days or weekends like that? Where it feels like a giant Hoover vacuum has invaded your life and sucked up all your time and productivity?

Not that this weekend wasn’t “productive” — I graded student papers; read a book for a lit class I’m taking; sent out a newsletter for my Write On! organization {you can subscribe here if you’re interested — it’s free and comes out every other month or so}; cleaned the bathroom and wiped down the fridge; made cilantro-honey salmon and red velvet cupcakes {recipes coming soon!} … and spent some quality movie-and-cuddle time with my sweetie.

But I still didn’t FEEL productive. Or, maybe I should say, I didn’t feel productive in a way that is hugely important to me: my writing.

When I first entered graduate school, I imagined having an infinite amount of time to write. I mean, that’s what I’m here to do — I’m getting my Master’s degree in fiction writing. You’d think all my time would be dedicated to writing fiction! And it’s true that I am extremely fortunate. I don’t have to worry about holding down a full-time job while squeezing in writing on the side. My position in the program came with a teaching position, a job I love that complements my own writing very well. Most of my homework assignments are things I would want to be doing anyway: reading books, writing stories. My biggest obligation this third-and-final year of the program is to write my Master’s thesis, in my case a novel. I have no excuse not to give writing the shining spotlight of my daily time and focus.

And yet … something I’ve learned is that no matter how much time you have to do what you really love, there are always things that will swoop in and take that time away if you let them. On the one hand, I should have no excuse not to write for hours upon hours every day; on the other hand, real life easily intrudes upon my to-do list: papers to grade, papers to write, books to review, slush-pile submissions to read for the literary magazine, emails to reply to, phone calls to return, errands to run.

It gradually dawned on me that if I don’t make writing a priority now, while my largest obligation is to get my thesis done by getting words on the page, how can I expect to make time to write after my program is over?

Simply put: how do you make time for what you love? If not now, when?

One of the greatest decisions I made for my writing life, and for my own happiness and sense of fulfillment, was when I made a promise to myself to write at least 400 words every single day, no excuses. Doesn’t matter how tired or uninspired I feel. Even if I am sick with the stomach flu I can manage to scrawl out 400 words over the course of a day and meet my commitment. I track my progress on this great, free motivational website Joe’s Goals, which may seem simple but has helped me enormously.

And you know what? Writing really has become a habit. My self-expectations have increased, so now I think of 400 words as the bare minimum. I want to write more than that each day, especially during these gloriously long summer days we’re blessed with right now. Which brings me to this weekend: yes, I wrote 400 words each day, but I still didn’t feel productive the way I hope to. I want to write more. I want to give even more time to doing what I love.

I think balance is the key, and also realizing that you’re probably never going to feel like you have enough time. There’s always going to be more that you want to do. But that’s a good thing, right? That’s part of why you love doing what you love doing so much. “Boredom” is a foreign concept when you feel full of ideas and inspiration, always wanting more time!

I have a sticky-note hanging above my desk, where I see it every day. It says “1/24.” It’s a reminder for myself that I get 24 hours every day; I owe it to myself to use at least 1 of those hours doing what I really love. For me, that means writing.

Can you carve out an hour out of your daily 24 to do what you love?

Have a marvelous week!

All best wishes,
Dallas

marvelous monday: the magic of to-do lists

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There’s something about the way my brain works that makes me really drawn to lists. These lists permeate my life and range from the motivating {goal lists, markets-to-submit-my-writing-to lists} to the mundane {grocery lists, thank-you-notes-to-write lists} but no matter what the topic, it all boils down to this: lists make me a happier and less-stressed person.

And the mother of all lists is the to-do list, which I write pretty much every day. I kinda feel bad for the to-do list. It gets a bad rap. People complain all the time about their to-do lists. {Sometimes I feel like people compete on the lengths of their to-do lists just to have more complaining leverage!} But I think the to-do list can be a really wonderful tool to boost your feelings of motivation and accomplishment, not to mention your sense of organization over your time, work and daily life.

The trick is to use the to-do list in a way that helps you, not hinders you. You want the to-do list to make you feel good about yourself, not stressed out or overwhelmed.

I think the first step in coming up with an effective to-do list system for your life is to take an honest look at how you spend your time. Is there something you wish you were doing more of? Is there anything you feel like you waste time on that you wish you wouldn’t? How much free time do you feel you have every day/week/month? Honesty is crucial here! I think the biggest mistake people make when writing to-do lists {and believe me, I am guilty of this too} is putting waaay too much on the list, more than anyone could possibly get done in a day, and then feeling bad about themselves when the day draws to close and there are still a lot of un-crossed-off items on the list.

So, Tip #1: Be honest and realistic with yourself.

Another thing that works for me is to break to-do list items up into categories of “big” and “small” … sometimes these categories morph into “things I need to do but keep putting off” and “things I need to do and actually like doing.” Then I try to even out these tasks throughout the week. In a perfect world, I’d do at least one “big” task every day, and one or two “small” tasks. When life gets hectic, a good balance for me is to aim for three “big” tasks every week, and maybe 6-8 “small” tasks.

Here are some examples of “big” tasks on my list this week {i.e. things I want to keep putting off but shouldn’t}: get my car in for an oil change; put some items up on Craigslist that I’ve been meaning to sell; go through my closet and weed out clothes to donate.

And here are some examples of “small” tasks on my list this week {i.e. things I should do and don’t mind doing}: go to the Post Office to send out play submissions with upcoming deadlines; try a new recipe I found for Morning Glory Muffins; write & mail a couple thank-you notes; order prints of photos from a recent trip Mike & I took to Chicago; hang up a new picture I got for the guest bedroom.

At the beginning of every week, I jot down a list of the “big” tasks and “small” tasks I want to get done that week, and then every day or every other day I choose a big task and a couple small tasks to tackle. This works for me because:

  • It really helps me focus on one thing at a time and not get overwhelmed by all the things I want to get done
  • It helps me structure the week {for example, maybe one day I’ll focus on running all my errands to save on gas & car time}
  • It makes it much harder for me to put off or procrastinate on certain tasks because I’m just focusing on one per day or one every two days.

There are also a few tasks on my to-do list every day! These relate to bigger goals I want to accomplish in the year. For example, one of my goals is to read 52 books this year, so reading time is on my to-do list every day. I also have a goal of writing at least 400 words every day {which I track on this super-motivating free website www.joesgoals.com — can’t recommend it enough!}

Chores I designate on a weekly basis, and I go through phases. Sometimes I like having a “chore/cleaning day” where I try to get all my cleaning/laundry/dishes/housework stuff done in a single swoop. Other times I’ll go for a few months when I prefer splitting up chores into smaller tasks that I will do day-by-day. I think it’s all about what works for you, how you’re feeling, and what your free time/schedule is like.

For years I’ve saved envelopes and written my to-do lists on the backs of them. Then Mike got me this pretty notepad from the $1 bin at Target — isn’t it adorable? How can you not be excited to tackle your to-do list when you write it out on paper like this? I still save envelopes though because I am always writing lists and I like to be eco-friendly!

It can also be helpful to keep a pad of paper somewhere you pass by every day so you can write down ideas or reminders when they first strike you. {If I don’t do this, half the time I completely forget!} I keep a notepad on the fridge where I jot down items to get at the store, reminders to myself of things to add to my list or places I need to be:

Do you write to-do lists? What sorts of tips work for you? What do you find helpful when organizing your daily or weekly tasks?

Have a marvelous week!
Dallas