turning envy into gratitude

Posted on July 11, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about that green-eyed monster, jealousy. About how it’s easy to be there for people when they’re down. What’s harder is being happy when something great happens for somebody else.

Why is that? Why are we so inclined to compare ourselves to others? When someone else accomplishes something amazing, why does it have the potential to make us feel bad about ourselves?

Life isn’t a race. Life isn’t a checklist or a report card or a beauty contest. And when we’re constantly comparing ourselves to others, it leaves less mental energy to focus on all the good things happening in our own lives — and all the great things we want to do in the future! For me, nothing saps motivation quicker than that green-eyed monster does.

I’ve heard it said that envy can be a motivating factor, and maybe it is for some people. Maybe there is a good kind of envy: “You just did something amazing, and I want to do it, too!” That’s envy integrated with a nice dose of inspiration. When you don’t want to take away someone’s good fortune — you want to share in it.

That’s what I’ve been trying to focus on lately. Not just being surface-level happy for my friends when things go well — taking it a step further and truly basking in others’ happiness. Jumping up and down with excitement for them. Sharing the good news with everyone I meet. Feeling my heart swell with giddy joy.

Because you know what? When you celebrate the good news of others as if it is your own, it sort of does start to feel like it’s happening to you, too. The good feelings are yours. The celebration is yours. And the sense of accomplishment? That’s yours, too.

When you build others up, you build yourself up.

It’s also true in business. Here’s an article I read yesterday about the #1 secret to success in the workplace. Can you guess what it is? Making others successful.

Another thing about being happy for others is that happiness is contagious. And being joyful about the successes of others isn’t even limited to people you know. Being happy for strangers is an unbelievably freeing feeling. Once upon a time, whenever I used to read about an author getting an agent or book deal or selling a bajillion copies of her new book, I would feel jealous. I would think, “Why that person and not me?”

It’s one thing to be happy for my writer friends when they get a book deal {go Tera!}; or a story accepted to a phenomenal literary journal {I’m looking at you, Leigh!}; or are awarded a prestigious writing fellowship {woo-hoo, Jan Jan!} These are people I’ve been “in the trenches” with. We’ve read and commented on each other’s work, encouraged each other through the dry spells, sat together over coffee or fro-yo and commiserated over rejection letters. I know how hard they work. I know how much they deserve these good things.

But when good news happened to a writer I didn’t know? I was much more likely to let my heart slip into that jealous place. To feel like I didn’t get something because someone else got it instead.

But that type of thinking only breeds more bad thoughts and discouragement. A stranger to me is someone else’s Tera or Leigh or Janet. All of us are working hard. All of us are out there pursuing these big beautiful dreams of ours. I don’t like to think of the world as a pie with a limited number of pieces. When we’re happy for each other — even for people we’ve never met — the world begins to seem like a brighter, warmer, more inviting place. A place where good things happen.

When I celebrate a stranger’s publishing deal, it rejuvenates me. It makes me feel like maybe my good news is just around the corner. And it makes me feel fortunate and grateful for all the great things that have happened in my life so far.

I love this meditation from Heather at For the Love of Kale: “Gratitude turns what I have into enough. Thank you, Universe, for giving me everything I need. I am willing to see the light and love in this situation.”

You know one of the top things I feel grateful for? That I’m surrounded by people who genuinely care about me, who are there to pick me up when I feel down, and — perhaps even more importantly — who are unabashedly happy with me when good things happen. What a blessing. What a gift we can all give each other.

Now I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you quash that green-eyed monster? Who are you celebrating today? Give them a shout out in the comments section so we can all send happy vibes their way!

weekend fun {+ trying to stay cool!}

Posted on June 30, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

Happy Sunday, friends! Hope you are having a joyful, relaxing, rejuvenating day!

It has been H-O-T here in Southern California, and especially in my little beach community where few of us have air conditioning, this weekend has been all about trying to keep cool! I have been downing Gatorade, homemade iced tea, and smoothies.

As I mentioned the other day, I have been all about the smoothies lately! I am a little late to the smoothie party, and I don’t know why it took me so long. I think I was intimidated by the blender {and blender clean-up} but it really takes me all of five minutes to assemble my smoothie, blend it, and wash the blender. A smoothie has become my go-to breakfast! I normally blend some fresh or frozen fruit, a couple spoonfuls of greek yogurt, 1/2 cup of coconut water, a handful of baby spinach, and ice. Here are a few of my favorite fruit combos:

– strawberries, banana, pineapple
– peach, strawberries, blueberries
– mango, peach, blueberries
– raspberries, strawberries, banana, blueberries

Also, if anyone is like me and feels a little wary about adding spinach, trust me: you really can’t taste it! It’s a great way to get a little more green into your diet.

On a more decadent note, I also made these chocolate butter cups which are currently chilling in the freezer … I will let you know how they turn out!

me beachin

Yesterday I spent the afternoon at the beach with my dear friend Patty and her family, who were sweet enough to invite me out to their beach house. It was a beautiful day at the beach and the nice ocean breeze cooled things off a little!

Then, last night my mom and I kept cool in the air conditioning: we went to a local restaurant and saw my amazing friend Lauren Sexton in concert! She is such a talented songwriter, singer and guitar player. She just released an album and the concert was a celebration. You can check out her music on her Facebook page — two of my favorites are her songs “In the Morning” and “The Highway.” Her music is beautiful and I was so proud to be there last night! Congrats, Lauren!

This morning began with a smoothie, the Sunday comics, a slobbery doggy kiss from Murray, and a beautiful sermon at church. Today’s sermon was about delighting in the abundance and joy of the summer and taking time to relax and recharge your batteries. After I got home, I’ve spent the rest of the afternoon sprawled out on the couch reading a great book — Abide With Me by Elizabeth Strout. {I love her! Her novel Olive Kitteridge is another great read!}

As I’ve written about before, sometimes I feel this pressure to be go-go-go all the time, like constant busyness makes my days more worthwhile, but I’ve found it’s really quite the opposite. On those rushed, forced go-go-go days I typically climb into bed feeling depleted and frazzled, like my gas tank is on empty. Not a good feeling. I’m learning to give myself permission, especially on Sundays, to just relax and savor this amazing life I’ve been blessed with. There was nothing I felt more like doing today and curling up with a book, and it has been a delightful Sunday.

What are you doing to relax and recharge your batteries? What are you delighting in this summer?

clutter-busting challenge

Posted on May 9, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

Crystal at Money-Saving Mom is hosting a Clutter-Busting Challenge in which she is getting rid of {throwing away, selling or donating} at least 7 items for every single day of May. She is inspiring loads of others to do the same, including me!

I already did a lot of clutter-busting last month when graduated from Purdue and moved from Indiana to California … the move was the fire-under-my-butt motivation to sort through my various papers, knick-knacks, books, clothes, kitchen supplies, etc. and decide what was worth taking with me. I ended up donating and selling everything except for the clothes, blankets, books, and important papers that fit within five suitcases and a few big shipping boxes.

When I arrived home, I had another opportunity to clutter-bust: my bedroom at home {which my parents have been sweet enough to leave as-is during my time away… it hasn’t been converted to a home office, at least not yet!} There were books and papers and random STUFF that had accumulated during winter breaks and summers at home and that I hadn’t gone through in years.

After a few days of sorting, I am proud to share with you the big pile of stuff that I am getting rid of!

I took the clothes/shoes/purses to Goodwill and donated the books to my local library. Not only does it feel good to purge your life of unnecessary items, I also love imagining the person who will enjoy each item in its next life!

Are any of you doing spring/early summer cleaning and organizing? I’d love to hear your success stories and tips!

You can follow along the entire Clutter-Busting series at Money-Saving Mom here: https://moneysavingmom.com/series/clutter-busting-challenge

Pin It Party

Posted on May 5, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

Lindsay at The Lean Green Bean is hosting a Pin It Party inviting bloggers to share their top five images that they would love to receive more Pinterest loving! Here are mine:

1. my year of kindness challenge

2. apple-banana oatmeal muffins

3. diy no-sew baby blanket

4. three-ingredient banana cookies

5. creamy blended cauliflower & potato soup

Happy pinning! {You can follow me on Pinterest here!}

I’ll be back tomorrow with the next year of kindness challenge!

“make mornings matter” in march!

Posted on March 7, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

“If you eat a frog first thing in the morning, that will probably be the worst thing you do all day.” – Mark Twain.

Source: Frog by David Wagner

Happy Thursday, friends! How is your week going so far?

The always-amazing Crystal over at Money-Saving Mom is hosting a really neat Early to Rise Challenge during the month of March. I have been inspired by her posts, and floored by her {and other participants} wake-up times: 5:33. 6:01. 5:45. A.M.!!

Now to some of you, that is a piece of cake. That is simply routine for you. 5 a.m. and sunrises are a normal part of your day. {My mom is one of those people. Hi, Mom!}

But I have always been a night owl. Maybe it’s related to writing — I often feel more creative late at night, when the world is quiet and I am close to dreamland. {In fact, I titled my short story collection 3 a.m. because that’s when I was up writing many of the stories in the book!} I’ve read that we all have natural body rhythms as either night owls or early birds, and I am definitely in the night owl category. I often joke with my Gramps, who lives out in California, that he and I are on the same time schedule — we go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time; I’m just three hours ahead of him on the clock! 🙂

Still, I like to feel productive, and I’ve found my mornings often set the tone for the rest of my day. If I have a sluggish morning where I wake up, head straight to my computer, check my email first thing, and browse around on Facebook, it will soon be an hour later and I will feel totally crummy. Then I’ll be rushing to “get a start” on my day and very likely the whole entire day will seem like a giant game of catch-up.

If, instead, I wake up, drink two glasses of water, brew some tea and cook a healthy, hearty breakfast, and start the day with one chore I do not want to do or have been putting off — just do it and get it DONE so I don’t have to worry about it anymore — then the entire day seems sunnier, easier, lovelier. I feel on top of things. I feel productive. Even if the task I’ve been putting off takes me a total of three minutes, like yesterday morning, when I called the mechanic who I had been been playing phone tag with the entire day before. I called him first thing when I got up, was done with the task in three minutes, and felt a sense of motivation and accomplishment that carried me through the entire day!

To paraphrase Mark Twain’s quote from the beginning of this post, what “frogs” are you putting off? Think how great you will feel if you get them done first thing and then have the whole day to not worry about it!

Another thing that really gets my day off on a great, energetic note is to do a little bit of exercise first thing in the morning. One of my goals for 2013 is to stretch every day, and I feel so much better the rest of the day if I take a few minutes to stretch my legs and hips when I first get out of bed. I am also trying to motivate myself to get into the routine of doing my sit ups and push ups first thing in morning, before I hop in the shower and eat breakfast. I often feel too tired or busy to do them at night, but I really want to work on building up the strength of my core, and so doing my sit-ups and push-ups are important to me. For the rest of March — and beyond — that is a small goal I am focusing on!

How about you? How do you make your mornings matter? If you’re looking for inspiration, I love this post by Crystal: “15 Things You Can Do Each Morning to Make Your Day More Successful.” I think she gives great advice! And whether your morning starts at 5 a.m. or noon, this is a no-judgment zone! It’s all about what works best for you and your lifestyle. 🙂

saving money & time by utilizing my freezer

Posted on January 10, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

One of my goals for this year is to put at least 10% of each paycheck into my savings. I’ve always been a saver — I was the kid who saved up my Chuck E. Cheese ticket winnings visit after visit to eventually spend on the coveted 1,000-Ticket Big Prize — but in the grown-up world saving isn’t always that easy. As a grad student, there are months it seems downright impossible to put aside any of my small paycheck for savings. Yet I know how important it is to save for the future, and I know how fortunate I am to have a job — after all, even a small paycheck is better than no paycheck.

With that mindset — that even small savings deposits are better than no savings! — I am aiming to discover little ways to save money throughout my daily living. Since I hate wasting food, I’ve gotten in the habit of buying small amounts of produce every week — even produce I really like and eat often — because I don’t want anything to go bad and go to waste. Sometimes this caused me to lose out on good weekly deals because, though I knew I would use up a lot of that specific fruit or vegetable, I wasn’t sure if I would eat it quickly enough. This also lead to some situations where it felt like I was racing against the clock to eat up all of the peaches or blackberries or celery before it went bad and into the trash.

Then I came across this post from my blogging buddy Andrea at Simple Organized Living about how she cuts up and freezes her fruits and veggies {and lots of other goodies, too!} … and it really inspired me! It seems so obvious, but it had never occurred to me that I could freeze my fruits and veggies and use them later. It was like a light-bulb went on in my brain!

Serendipitously, this week at the grocery store, they were having a great sale on bell peppers, something I use often in my cooking. Normally I would have bought one, maybe two, and made sure to use them up in dishes this week. But now I knew exactly what to do to take full advantage of the sale: use my freezer!

I bought half a dozen bell peppers, used two in recipes this week just like I normally would have, and then took a few extra minutes to chop up the rest. Then all I had to do was put them into ziplock baggies and into the freezer!

I used one small bag per bell pepper, because typically my recipes use one bell pepper at a time. An extra bonus is that cooking with these frozen veggies will be easier than ever because the chopping is already done! Surprisingly, it seemed much faster to get in the zone and chop up four bell peppers in one go than it does chopping them up one at a time.

And I felt so proud putting these babies into the freezer. I pictured a harried, midterm version of my Future Self, hungry and desperate to get dinner on the table, and I thought, “This is my gift to you, Future Self. You’re welcome!”

Do any of you use your freezer to stock up on produce? I’d love to hear your money-saving tips!

marvelous monday: year of kindness challenge

Posted on January 7, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

In a post a few weeks ago I shared that I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how to be a better person and give more to the world around me. Give more, do more, brighten more, serve more. I want to be grateful and I want to be joyful, and in my experiences the best way to do so is to give gratefully and joyfully to others. Case in point: one of my favorite experiences over this past holiday season was taking handmade cards and cookies to the local nursing home. In this next year–and beyond, for the years to come– I want to work on stepping outside myself {my petty grievances, my small problems, my unhelpful worries} and focus on the people and neighbors and global community around me.

Inspiration clicked into action when I came across this amazing post by blogger Becka about her birthday tradition of doing a random act of kindness for every year she has been alive. {I also found a similar and very neat Facebook community, The Birthday Project!} Reading through her deeds and looking at all the smiling photos, I felt energized and filled with hope. I immediately knew I wanted to do the same thing for my birthday this year — and then I thought, my birthday isn’t until May. I don’t want to wait that long! Why wait?

Hence, I present to you my Year of Kindness challenge.

Here’s how it works:

Each Monday, I’ll present a small act of kindness “challenge” for that week, and the following Monday I’ll let you know how I did and then present a new challenge for that week. I would LOVE if you would join in on my year of kindness and blog about your experiences, then add a link to your post below. It would also be wonderful if you would share the photo button above with your followers — on Pinterest, Facebook, Twitter, your blog, wherever! If you don’t have a blog, you can of course email me at <dallaswoodburn AT gmail DOT com> with any stories or photos you have from doing acts of kindness, and I will gladly share them with blog readers!

Let’s make this a powerful “pay it forward” year of kindness!

Here’s the challenge for this week:

Go through your closets and cupboards and pull out things you no longer use but are still in good shape. Then, donate them to others who will be thrilled to have these items. The goal is to give at least one thing away for each day of the week, for a total of seven items.

Have a marvelous day! Can’t wait to hear how the week goes! 🙂

Blog about completing the Year of Kindness, Week 1 Challenge and add your link below!

saturday upsides: a cozy night in

Posted on January 5, 2013 by dallaswoodburn

Monday is the beginning of a new semester at Purdue, and I’m gearing up to teach my two courses: First-Year Composition and Business Writing. Being back in Indiana means returning to below-freezing temps and snow on the ground, in addition to transitioning from festive vacation mode back to the everyday stresses and obligations of my normal life. Yesterday was filled with meetings and course prep, and {as often happens when I travel} I feel my body fighting off a little bug that I probably picked up on the airplane coming back from California. I’ve been downing green tea, Airborne, and plenty of water, which is seeming to help! Fingers crossed I fight it off and am feeling rested and energized come Monday.

My Saturday Upside is that I am reminded again and again that so much of happiness is based on not what happens to you, but what you make of it. {Or, as Coach Wooden so eloquently phrased it: “Things turn out for the best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.”}

Instead of feeling stressed or nervous for the start of the new semester, I’m choosing to feel excited and hopeful that it will be a great one!

Instead of dreading a long day of meetings, I chose to focus my mental energy on how great it would be to see my friends and colleagues again after a few weeks away. And it was!

Instead of feeling bummed about fighting off a cold, it’s been a great reminder at the start of this new year to slow down and spend time taking care of my body.

I had the perfect cozy night in last night: an easy homemade chicken-and-quinoa recipe I’m eager to share with you soon, M&M brownies for dessert, and snuggling up on the couch with a Redbox rental. I’m looking forward to a laid-back, restful weekend!

What are your plans for the weekend? I’d love to hear your Saturday Upsides!

🙂 Dallas

highlights of 2012

Posted on December 31, 2012 by dallaswoodburn

At the end of every year, before I set my goals and resolutions for the new year, I like to take some time to reflect on the year that is ending. This forces me to pause and appreciate all the blessings I have been given and what I accomplished from the hard work I put into pursuing my goals. This really motivates me for the upcoming year!

Here are some of my highlights of 2012:

Personal:

traveled to NYC to see the Off-Off Broadway production of my play as part of the Samuel French Short Play Festival {and had an adventure narrowly escaping Hurricane Sandy!}
attended my brother’s graduation from USC
visited my friends Holly & Janet in Nashville
was asked to be a bridesmaid in my cousin Amanda’s wedding {this upcoming June}
started this blog!
saw a bunch of terrific concerts, plays, and Broadway shows: Bob Dylan, Blind Pilot, Ringo Starr, Ingrid Michaelson, Florence + The Machine; Once, American Idiot, The Mystery of Edwin Drood, Young Frankenstein; Jerry Seinfeld; The Strange Undoing of Prudenica Hart, The Understudy, A Midsummer Night’s Dream; and the beloved Lafayette Feast of the Hunter’s Moon festival
went to a Purdue basketball game with my brother when he visited me at school
learned to cook a bunch of new healthy recipes
read 48 books {follow me on Goodreads!}

Professional:

wrote a novel for my thesis manuscript and submitted the rough draft to my advisor
submitted my collection of short stories to a variety of small presses and it was a Finalist for the Flannery O’Connor Award for Short Fiction
published stories and essays in the Nashville Review, Prime Number, The Mom Egg, thickjam, Extract(s)
my short plays were produced in Los Angeles, New York, and Santa Paula
applied for and was accepted to teach undergraduate Business Writing at Purdue in addition to First-Year Composition; completed the required mentoring program
taught Intro to Creative Writing during the summer
taught a summer and winter writing camp through my organization Write On! For Literacy
was accepted to attend the Key West Literary Seminar in January and to present an academic paper at the Louisville Conference in February; attended the AWP Conference in Chicago
expanded my Holiday Book Drive to the Purdue community

Tomorrow I’ll post my goals for the new year! What are some of your highlights from 2012?

saturday upsides: special delivery to the nursing home

Posted on December 22, 2012 by dallaswoodburn

Happy Saturday, everyone! So we all survived the end of the world … hooray! There’s an upside right there. 😉

Another upside: today is my brother’s 23rd birthday! Happy birthday, Greg!!

We are going out to brunch, per our special sibling tradition, and we’ll be going out to dinner as a family. I’m excited to celebrate the birthday of my amazing brother! My first-ever memory is when he was born. I was two-and-a-half years old and I just remember standing in the living room of our old house, telling my mom to “Call Daddy, call Daddy!” My dad was at work and my mom was home with what she thought was the flu {it was two weeks before her expected due date} when her water broke … my dad rushed home and we just barely made it to the hospital in time! My family always jokes that I almost delivered my brother that day!

My final upside for this lovely Saturday is based on the idea “Do good, feel good.” There’s nothing like those warm-fuzzies you get when you feel like you did something nice for someone else — I find it especially powerful during the holiday season. It means so much to feel like I could make someone’s holiday a little brighter!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately of my friend Jewell, who passed away two years ago in February. She was an incredibly sweet and compassionate person and I used to visit her at the local nursing home, where we shared many meals and long conversations. Here we are about a year before she died:

And here she is wearing a scarf I made her for Christmas:

I used to enjoy making Jewell homemade Christmas gifts and cards, and last Christmas {the first once since her death} I really missed her. This year, I had an idea: I could still give a gift to Jewell by doing something kind for others in her memory.

So I whipped up a batch of sweet treats {my butterscotch pudding cookies & holiday white chocolate pretzels!} and spent an hour making homemade cards. I used crayons, stamps, stickers, and markers to make my own designs, and I also “upcycled” some Christmas cards we’d received in previous years by cutting off the front picture and gluing it to a new piece of cardstock to make a new card.

I made sixteen cards in total. Then I packed up some treats on a plate, gathered all my cards together, and headed out to the nursing home for a Yuletide delivery!

I could feel Jewell’s warm spirit with me as I delivered the cards and cookies to the nursing home residents. They were so happy and waved and hugged me and said, “Thank you!” and “Merry Christmas!” I hope Jewell was looking down and smiling.

Want to do a similar project in your town? Here are some examples of notes I wrote in the cards:

Hope your holiday season is filled with joy and peace! Love, a friend
Someone is thinking of you this holiday season and sending warm wishes your way!
Merry Christmas! Have a wonderful season filled with warm memories, hope and love!

Now I’m off to finish wrapping Greg’s birthday gifts! 🙂 Have a fantastic day!

Day-By-Day Masterpiece

Category Archives: inspiration